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OUCH TELEVISION MY BRAIN HURTS

This is the first in the series. Painstakingly created over the course of a week of painkiller addiction - it was the safest way to make this one without suffering from the embarrassment felt for individuals on this tape. It will make your hair perm or for those with perms or weaves already, get ready to look like one of the Hansons. The tape bares witness to the state of television from the late 80’s to 96. Charlton Heston was giving speeches at Desert storm tributes as Gary Coleman, on Arsenio, blamed his lack of dating on the AIDS epidemic. Kids dressed like the Village People without a single coked-up adult blinking an eye. It is a time to remember over and over again. WARNING: Watching this entire tape all at once will cause you to have hallucinations usually associated with sweat lodges.

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S&H INCLUDED!

Other Highlights include:

News reports on a child actor that broke into drugstores for pills.

Long gone, hard sell, infomercial segments that are sooooo good they are forever quotable in daily life.

One incredibly racist Popeye cartoon.

A news report on an epidemic known as “Deadly mosh pit accidents”

Canadian New Wave legend BB Boris. Too good for words.

Hunting ads that will make you fear for your life.

And more and more unbelievable moments.

1st DVD:

Price: $16.99

CASUAL FRIDAYS

After experiencing CASUAL FRIDAYS, you'll hug Mondays and saucily pat Wednesday's (hump days.) It's like a 110 minute Mocca Java. (For those of you who don't know that's where Ethiopia meets Java for a wild blend.) THAT'S RIGHT! This latest TV Carnage tape is dedicated to the throngs of exceptional men and women who care about and enforce the rules of CASUAL FRIDAYS. The Randy Rivers, and Suzie Shiers, the beige kakis and sensible earth tones, sensible haircuts and a 24-7/365 totally extreme attitude, suitable for shopping! CASUAL FRIDAYS is another collection of excessively brutal moments in human television history. Moments that make you spring to your feet screaming: "Holy shit did that just happen?!!" Moments and people that make you feel like you have your shit together, like no matter how much of a degenerate scumbag you are. Moments...all vying for the embarrassment of first place.

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S&H INCLUDED!

You'll witness:

Thespian, Anna Nicole Smith (so over prescribed she can barely attempt what she considers acting.)

Sir William Idol performing part of his 1990 hit album "Cyber Punk."

Senor Gary Coleman back again this time defending his existence, in court.

Excessive displays of normaldom.

Pinches of low fat racism.

Performances by unknowns that will inspire you to reconsider living.

80's action that will have you pumping your mesh-gloved fist in the air.

Children being adults AND Adults being children.

4th DVD:

Price: $16.99

WHEN TELEVISION ATTACKS

The bar is raised again with TV Carnage 2G. This is the same tape that premiered to a packed audience at a landmark Toronto Porn theater. It is currently enjoying a successful city to city tour in the romantic settings of other porn theaters. How good is this tape?? If you were to think in the terms of fashion, this tape rivals the Acid Wash Jump Suit phenomenon in its ability to shock and amaze. If you think in the terms of pizza slices you will not believe some of the toppings on this “Cringe lovers delight” If you think in terms of “Should I get this or not?” think, “Should.” Besides it’s intro, a homage to the top-notch advances in 80’s video toaster technology; this tape is, as Brian Austin Green would say “A one stop Carnival!”

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S&H INCLUDED!

Some of the toppings include:

A hetro country and western dance competition that looks more like a Gay Pride showcase event.

Steven Seagal on etiquette.

Steven Seagal on AIDS.

A local news report featuring an elderly citizen flipping out and physically taking on the cops.

A swearing sandwich featuring dialogue from a livid CEO.

A Philippine variety special with a group of people singing and acting out the song “It’s still rock and roll to me.”

A hard sell on beanie babies as a secure investment.

Chuck Norris and his ingenious, porn level, acting skills.

3rd DVD:

Price: $16.99

$LET\'S WORK IT OUT!$

LET'S WORK IT OUT!

TV CARNAGE is back and buffer than ever with its latest release, Let’s Work It Out. This Season Six (-pack) edition of TV CARNAGE will surely be a workout not just for your body but also for your mind and all of your senses. Whether you are of the girls or of the guys, this baby will tone, shape, and mutate everything from above your eyes to below your thighs. In fact, as we like to say around here: “Say goodbye to your body!” because a completely new unrecognizable you is just around the corner. The Let’s Work It Out routine—known as “The System”—is divided into simple, hard-to-achieve chapters that, when followed properly, are guaranteed to do something to you. If you don’t believe me, maybe you’ll believe some of our actual fitness gurus assembled on Let’s Work It Out!!!: Marie Osmond, O.J., Dolph Lundgren, Elmo, Lyle Alzado, Dixie Carter, Marky Mark, a Scientologist, a nice lady with brown hair, children, numerous weirdos, grifters, drifters, weight lifters, doctors, and, of course, porn stars. Come on, what do you have to lose besides your mind? So let’s work it out! Get some booze and a bunch of food, stretch out, and drown in the delights about to be thrown down.

LET\'S WORK IT OUT:

Price: $19.99